The Bastard's Daughter

by Janette Geri

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06:05
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04:19
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06:17

about

These songs came about after I moved to the Dandenong ranges, up into the mountains. It is the most beautiful place, great tall trees, ancient ferns, a myriad of birds.

I moved up here to the mountains looking for peace and healing, and the songs here reflect that journey.
Many of the songs are about loss and leaving things behind. But I think this is a happy album, and I hope it reflects what I've come to know; that everything has a gift inside it somewhere. I'm happy to say I found many good things.

I hope these songs find you well and happy, and if you are feeling sad, as we all will from time to time, I hope they are good company for you, and that they leave you lifted and full of fiest!

The album title refers to my feeling like something of an outsider, an I often feel for various reasons. I settled on this title after much thought, and it seems to fit the spirit of these songs. It's meant to be a bit cheeky, a bit of fun. It also refers to my father, who was indeed a bastard. I never really knew him, but he had some good things inside him somewhere, and some of those good things he gave to me.
For that I am very grateful.

This album is dedicated to my grandmother Alma.
She gave me music, and my memory of her gives me strength and light on the winding road of songs and longings.
I do my best for her sake.

credits

released September 1, 2008

Phil Smith - lead guitar on 'down the road', 'dragonfly' and 'just tired'
Aaron Burton - lead guitar on 'high country'
Janette geri - everything else

Mastered by David Briggs at The Production Workshop
Art by Janette Geri
Photos by Kimberly Dall, Belgrave Images

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Janette Geri VIC, Australia

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Track Name: High Country
I'm going away to leave you
Gonna leave you in despair
I'm going away to the mountains, I want to breathe some mountain air
I'm going away to be by myself, to see what I can find
I'm going away to restore my health and a peaceful state of mind
Its gonna be alright now
Oh honey I'm already gone

I'm going away to leave you
Gonna leave you in disgrace
I've nothing to say to your foolish grin and your pale and foolish face
I'm leaving you with the mess you made of the warmth and the love of a woman like this

and all that stress
I believe I'm the worse for wear for you
I ring my hands and tear my hair
For all you put me through

I don't like it here no more
And I don't like your style
I got more to do with my time
I'm gonna build a garden, and see if I can find my smile

They tell me there's a better place
Somewhere the air is clear
I think I need to find a different space
That's a long long way from here

I don't like it here no more
And I don't like your style
I got better things to do with my time
I'm gonna build a garden, and see if I can find my smile

It's in there somewhere
Track Name: Little Ship Song
First it was your eyes, I told my friend, I said
I can see the whole sky in those eyes, I said, and
I see the ocean, and better than a boat upon the tide,
Suddenly the call of the open sea, and I feel the pull, inside....

So I put up my sails and I waited upon the wind
Oh from some bad weather and storms they've been torn sometime,
And they're wearing thin
But there seemed to be a cool breeze,
Oh there seemed to come a breath of life on the wind
But it seems that it comes and it goes away again

You and I know it's only me, you and I know we both have to wait and see
But you and I know you know that I could love you
You and I know its only sadness bring me on this kind of madness
Oh but I know you know.........

Imagine her surprise when I told my friend, I said oh
Here is my salvation and my delight, my laughing stream I said
And I gaze on the water
And I imagine how the waves and the swirls must feel
I want to feel it against my skin, running through my veins... how I long to dive in

Oh I know it's only me, you and I know we both have to wait and see
But you and I know you know I've been wishing....

I wasn't goina tell you, oh I didn't mean to let me secret out
I intended to keep my distance, my cool, and take the easy way out
I planned to keep my silence, but I'm rambling and I pray that you won't understand
And I pray that you will, and I will feel the wind rise up again...

Will you blow me away sweet wind of the water, friend of the sailor have mercy on me
Will you carry me back to the places of silence, oh you gotta rescue me
For the river of longing is far too wide for my little ship and me
But if you send me a sign I'll wait on the wind to catch up my sails and me............
Track Name: Feels Like Home
Please forgive me
I'm a stranger in this land
I have nothing in my hand
I don't mean to be so shy

I'm just a traveller
And I hold no currency
You don't need to be wary of me
If you see me cry

It's just this land
Oh this rolling countryside
Oh these mountains green and wide
It makes me weep
Surely the hand of grace
has led me to this place
And there's something in your face
That feels like home

It's been a long time
And there's many mile I've roamed
And there's many more miles to go
Before I die
But I hear music
And I so much love to dance
I am weary by my circumstance
Oh let me listen for a while

Oh this land.....
Track Name: Rag and Bone Dream
I can't write, I can't sing
I can't do too much of anything

I can't sleep, I can't dream
All I know is how much I don't know
If you know what I mean....

Well I tried, I did
No price I paid was too high

I'm up all night, I can't think straight through the day
And all I know is that anybody else by now
Would have given it away

Oh this life, oh this rag and bone dream
All I am is a low stranger
With no shoes upon my feet
oh set me free from this hold on me
I can't breathe

You don't play fair
You're too demanding
Anything you ask of me
Well I give it for free but
But now my back's against the wall

I'm a bird on a wire in a raging storm
And anybody else can see
this ain't good for me
But if I let go I'll fall....
Track Name: Dragonfly
It's so hard to see, it moves so fast
Just a glimmer of wings
And its gone
A creature of impossibility
Like a sliver of moonlight
Caught in the sun
I' watching this dragonfly
And I'm watching the river run by

I'm always like this on holidays
I'm always at odds
With the celebrations
Always that same sad dream clouding
Conversations

I wake up shouting curses
Crying in the dark
I wake up wild as a hurricane
And I'm afraid for my heart

Lashing at shadows
But there's nobody there
Only the fading starlight
and the cold, thin air.........

When these dreams run high
There's nowhere to be.....

So I'm watching the river roll by
And I'm trying to watch this dragonfly
Fly...........
Track Name: Just Tired
I watch the birds outside my window
and all I am is tired
I can't believe time goes so fast,
and I'm so far behind
I'm chasing my tail, I'm losing my life
I ought to be more than one man's trouble;
The poor man's strife
I'm running out of time,
I'm running out of reasons to keep from crying......

I watch the leaves outside,
turning to gold and blood reds
For all the gentle grace of autumn skies,
You can taste the cold up ahead
And I'm watching my hands,
I'm watching them break
I'm watching my skin wear down to my bones
And my bones ache
They're aching with the cold,
they're aching with the weight of all this precious precious time
Oh but I said...I'm just tired

I can't help it, I can't keep it in
It's not a term that I give much credence to,
but I think it's a sin to be so low
it's certainly a shame
I'm running out of time getting nowhere
Oh I'm strung out in the rain

And now I see outside my window, the sun is going down
You know it's peaceful here as the night falls
And the silence settles all around

These midnight hours, you know
I heard someone say
These are the hours when the devil cannot find you;
The Poet is safe, and I'm alright,
I'm just tired
It's just that I'm afraid of the way
it's all going so fast
It's just a bad day and I'm alright,
I'm just tired
When you take me in your arms and you smile at me
You say it's ok then everything's fine,
I'm just tired
I see the look in your eyes and it's alright
I know that you love me.................................
Track Name: Sure I Could Fly
I'm sure if I tried to I know I could fly
There's a spring in my step and I cannot say why
But I'm sure that it wasn't there yesterday, as far as I know

there are wings on my heels and the moon's on the rise
If I'm granted three wishes I won't be surprised
I'm sure I should worry by now, 'cause you never can tell...
But it's nothing to do with the moon or the wishing well

I never imagined the stars were so bright
There are thousands and thousands or more out tonight
And every star shines like a prayer in the sky

Oh I feel like I have the moon right in my hand
It's a moment of grace that I don't understand
I'm as light as a leaf on the breeze, and I don't know why
But it's nothing to do with the moon or the summer sky

I used to make wishes, and still I believe they come true
But they always surprise me the way that they look when they do
Oh you can worry too much, worry your whole life through
until you can't see the good that surrounds you

Every now and again it's just like you've been blind....
And then all of a shadows are gone from your eyes...
And you cry with the wonder of all you can suddenly see

And then all of the barriers all disappear
And you suddenly know that it's always been here...
and it's nothing to do with the day
And I think I know why
It's only to do with you
You and an open mind
Track Name: Down The Road
Down the road I go, with the wind behind me
It's a long way to go, but I'm travelling lightly
It's a long, long road I know, but the breeze will carry me along
It's true what doesn't kill you makes you strong

Down the road I go, I'm following a song
I feel it in my veins; it's never led me wrong
A spirit's leading me so I haven't got time to hang around
The things that you hold onto slow you down

You can't catch me ...

So down the road I go, on my merry way
I'm thinking as I go... every day's a different day
I don't care which way I go; all I gotta do is stay awake
My hands are on the wheel make no mistake

I got a song inside me, and the wind to guide me
I'm running for my life now, that's for sure
I'm leaving it this way, that all I can say
But I will leave a smile for you
And I'll pin it to your door

Don't imagine that it's easy, 'cause it's very hard to go
I'll miss you every day my dear, more that you will know
But you don't want me hanging 'round, and I don't want to stay
So I wish you very well my dear
And I'll be sad...but not today

Got a song inside me, and the wind to will guide me
'cause I'm running for my life now, swift and sure
I'm leaving it this way, that's all I can say
But I will leave a smile for you
And speak of it no more ....
Track Name: Oh Love
I just talked for an hour with Melanie
She's a woman of heart and mind
And she listens to me, while I unpick mine
so much damage; it fills me with despair
I feel broken, there's just pieces everywhere
Well it's a bomb-site soul...

She's very kind, and she's patient with me
I think she understands the strain
Of all these secrets, so long locked away
So much damage, but patiently we try
To move forward, one piece at a time
But it's a thin, thin line...

Oh love I cannot say your name
Oh love, it brings me too much pain from all the trouble,
None of it intended I know
Oh love, I cannot say the word
Oh love, but it's all I've ever heard in my dreams, but
Some things can't be mended I know

You know it breaks my heart; all the waste of all these years
We keep our distance, but it costs us oh so dearly

You know, I've always put me thoughts down on paper
But I'm struggling to write down these lines
There's so much that I'd like to say, and little time
But all this damage, it just gets in the way
And time passes, it goes quicker every day
And nothing can be done ......

Oh love .......

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