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The Bastard's Daughter

by Janette Geri

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1.
High Country 06:05
I'm going away to leave you Gonna leave you in despair I'm going away to the mountains, I want to breathe some mountain air I'm going away to be by myself, to see what I can find I'm going away to restore my health and a peaceful state of mind Its gonna be alright now Oh honey I'm already gone I'm going away to leave you Gonna leave you in disgrace I've nothing to say to your foolish grin and your pale and foolish face I'm leaving you with the mess you made of the warmth and the love of a woman like this and all that stress I believe I'm the worse for wear for you I ring my hands and tear my hair For all you put me through I don't like it here no more And I don't like your style I got more to do with my time I'm gonna build a garden, and see if I can find my smile They tell me there's a better place Somewhere the air is clear I think I need to find a different space That's a long long way from here I don't like it here no more And I don't like your style I got better things to do with my time I'm gonna build a garden, and see if I can find my smile It's in there somewhere
2.
First it was your eyes, I told my friend, I said I can see the whole sky in those eyes, I said, and I see the ocean, and better than a boat upon the tide, Suddenly the call of the open sea, and I feel the pull, inside.... So I put up my sails and I waited upon the wind Oh from some bad weather and storms they've been torn sometime, And they're wearing thin But there seemed to be a cool breeze, Oh there seemed to come a breath of life on the wind But it seems that it comes and it goes away again You and I know it's only me, you and I know we both have to wait and see But you and I know you know that I could love you You and I know its only sadness bring me on this kind of madness Oh but I know you know......... Imagine her surprise when I told my friend, I said oh Here is my salvation and my delight, my laughing stream I said And I gaze on the water And I imagine how the waves and the swirls must feel I want to feel it against my skin, running through my veins... how I long to dive in Oh I know it's only me, you and I know we both have to wait and see But you and I know you know I've been wishing.... I wasn't goina tell you, oh I didn't mean to let me secret out I intended to keep my distance, my cool, and take the easy way out I planned to keep my silence, but I'm rambling and I pray that you won't understand And I pray that you will, and I will feel the wind rise up again... Will you blow me away sweet wind of the water, friend of the sailor have mercy on me Will you carry me back to the places of silence, oh you gotta rescue me For the river of longing is far too wide for my little ship and me But if you send me a sign I'll wait on the wind to catch up my sails and me............
3.
Please forgive me I'm a stranger in this land I have nothing in my hand I don't mean to be so shy I'm just a traveller And I hold no currency You don't need to be wary of me If you see me cry It's just this land Oh this rolling countryside Oh these mountains green and wide It makes me weep Surely the hand of grace has led me to this place And there's something in your face That feels like home It's been a long time And there's many mile I've roamed And there's many more miles to go Before I die But I hear music And I so much love to dance I am weary by my circumstance Oh let me listen for a while Oh this land.....
4.
I can't write, I can't sing I can't do too much of anything I can't sleep, I can't dream All I know is how much I don't know If you know what I mean.... Well I tried, I did No price I paid was too high I'm up all night, I can't think straight through the day And all I know is that anybody else by now Would have given it away Oh this life, oh this rag and bone dream All I am is a low stranger With no shoes upon my feet oh set me free from this hold on me I can't breathe You don't play fair You're too demanding Anything you ask of me Well I give it for free but But now my back's against the wall I'm a bird on a wire in a raging storm And anybody else can see this ain't good for me But if I let go I'll fall....
5.
Dragonfly 04:19
It's so hard to see, it moves so fast Just a glimmer of wings And its gone A creature of impossibility Like a sliver of moonlight Caught in the sun I' watching this dragonfly And I'm watching the river run by I'm always like this on holidays I'm always at odds With the celebrations Always that same sad dream clouding Conversations I wake up shouting curses Crying in the dark I wake up wild as a hurricane And I'm afraid for my heart Lashing at shadows But there's nobody there Only the fading starlight and the cold, thin air......... When these dreams run high There's nowhere to be..... So I'm watching the river roll by And I'm trying to watch this dragonfly Fly...........
6.
Just Tired 05:58
I watch the birds outside my window and all I am is tired I can't believe time goes so fast, and I'm so far behind I'm chasing my tail, I'm losing my life I ought to be more than one man's trouble; The poor man's strife I'm running out of time, I'm running out of reasons to keep from crying...... I watch the leaves outside, turning to gold and blood reds For all the gentle grace of autumn skies, You can taste the cold up ahead And I'm watching my hands, I'm watching them break I'm watching my skin wear down to my bones And my bones ache They're aching with the cold, they're aching with the weight of all this precious precious time Oh but I said...I'm just tired I can't help it, I can't keep it in It's not a term that I give much credence to, but I think it's a sin to be so low it's certainly a shame I'm running out of time getting nowhere Oh I'm strung out in the rain And now I see outside my window, the sun is going down You know it's peaceful here as the night falls And the silence settles all around These midnight hours, you know I heard someone say These are the hours when the devil cannot find you; The Poet is safe, and I'm alright, I'm just tired It's just that I'm afraid of the way it's all going so fast It's just a bad day and I'm alright, I'm just tired When you take me in your arms and you smile at me You say it's ok then everything's fine, I'm just tired I see the look in your eyes and it's alright I know that you love me.................................
7.
I'm sure if I tried to I know I could fly There's a spring in my step and I cannot say why But I'm sure that it wasn't there yesterday, as far as I know there are wings on my heels and the moon's on the rise If I'm granted three wishes I won't be surprised I'm sure I should worry by now, 'cause you never can tell... But it's nothing to do with the moon or the wishing well I never imagined the stars were so bright There are thousands and thousands or more out tonight And every star shines like a prayer in the sky Oh I feel like I have the moon right in my hand It's a moment of grace that I don't understand I'm as light as a leaf on the breeze, and I don't know why But it's nothing to do with the moon or the summer sky I used to make wishes, and still I believe they come true But they always surprise me the way that they look when they do Oh you can worry too much, worry your whole life through until you can't see the good that surrounds you Every now and again it's just like you've been blind.... And then all of a shadows are gone from your eyes... And you cry with the wonder of all you can suddenly see And then all of the barriers all disappear And you suddenly know that it's always been here... and it's nothing to do with the day And I think I know why It's only to do with you You and an open mind
8.
Down the road I go, with the wind behind me It's a long way to go, but I'm travelling lightly It's a long, long road I know, but the breeze will carry me along It's true what doesn't kill you makes you strong Down the road I go, I'm following a song I feel it in my veins; it's never led me wrong A spirit's leading me so I haven't got time to hang around The things that you hold onto slow you down You can't catch me ... So down the road I go, on my merry way I'm thinking as I go... every day's a different day I don't care which way I go; all I gotta do is stay awake My hands are on the wheel make no mistake I got a song inside me, and the wind to guide me I'm running for my life now, that's for sure I'm leaving it this way, that all I can say But I will leave a smile for you And I'll pin it to your door Don't imagine that it's easy, 'cause it's very hard to go I'll miss you every day my dear, more that you will know But you don't want me hanging 'round, and I don't want to stay So I wish you very well my dear And I'll be sad...but not today Got a song inside me, and the wind to will guide me 'cause I'm running for my life now, swift and sure I'm leaving it this way, that's all I can say But I will leave a smile for you And speak of it no more ....
9.
Oh Love 06:17
I just talked for an hour with Melanie She's a woman of heart and mind And she listens to me, while I unpick mine so much damage; it fills me with despair I feel broken, there's just pieces everywhere Well it's a bomb-site soul... She's very kind, and she's patient with me I think she understands the strain Of all these secrets, so long locked away So much damage, but patiently we try To move forward, one piece at a time But it's a thin, thin line... Oh love I cannot say your name Oh love, it brings me too much pain from all the trouble, None of it intended I know Oh love, I cannot say the word Oh love, but it's all I've ever heard in my dreams, but Some things can't be mended I know You know it breaks my heart; all the waste of all these years We keep our distance, but it costs us oh so dearly You know, I've always put me thoughts down on paper But I'm struggling to write down these lines There's so much that I'd like to say, and little time But all this damage, it just gets in the way And time passes, it goes quicker every day And nothing can be done ...... Oh love .......

about

These songs came about after I moved to the Dandenong ranges, up into the mountains. It is the most beautiful place, great tall trees, ancient ferns, a myriad of birds.

I moved up here to the mountains looking for peace and healing, and the songs here reflect that journey.
Many of the songs are about loss and leaving things behind. But I think this is a happy album, and I hope it reflects what I've come to know; that everything has a gift inside it somewhere. I'm happy to say I found many good things.

I hope these songs find you well and happy, and if you are feeling sad, as we all will from time to time, I hope they are good company for you, and that they leave you lifted and full of fiest!

The album title refers to my feeling like something of an outsider, an I often feel for various reasons. I settled on this title after much thought, and it seems to fit the spirit of these songs. It's meant to be a bit cheeky, a bit of fun. It also refers to my father, who was indeed a bastard. I never really knew him, but he had some good things inside him somewhere, and some of those good things he gave to me.
For that I am very grateful.

This album is dedicated to my grandmother Alma.
She gave me music, and my memory of her gives me strength and light on the winding road of songs and longings.
I do my best for her sake.

credits

released September 1, 2008

Phil Smith - lead guitar on 'down the road', 'dragonfly' and 'just tired'
Aaron Burton - lead guitar on 'high country'
Janette geri - everything else

Mastered by David Briggs at The Production Workshop
Art by Janette Geri
Photos by Kimberly Dall, Belgrave Images

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Janette Geri VIC, Australia

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